Q News (Australia)
November 10, 2006, Issue # 155
Darren Hayes
How Could They Think I Was Not Gay?

Thanks to Laurie for typing up the text to this article. It was very much appreciated Laurie!

Darren, congratulations on the release of Too Close For Comfort, probably the most real, most honest DVD I have seen from a megastar such as yourself.

Q – Tell me how off-putting it is being constantly filmed for a project like this

D – Well put it this way, I don’t think I could have ever done a reality TV show. It was hard looking back at the footage because it is not flattering because you have this glamorous idea for what it would be like to be a star. I grew up in the generation that adored Madonna for In Bed With Madonna. At the time I thought that was what I was making, but of course cameras record what actually happened and it wasn’t a great period of my life so it was definitely hard to be filmed and hard to watch it back and it’s only been through that perspective and growing up that I have been able to look back on it now and think that this probably is an important archive of my life.

Q – The DVD explores your personal journey and personal growth during a trying time of band breakup. You expose the little things, fears and doubts that all humans have but….? Did you ever have second thoughts about sharing the … Darren with the world?

D – Yeah I did. I watched the film when it was completed with my family. Actually I sat in a room with my mum, my dad, Richard my partner, and about 20 fans and some journalists and it was definitely hard because I was thinking have I said too much, have I revealed too much but I am kind of enjoying this period in my life. I’m really very comfortable with revealing the flaws. I think a lot of my unhappiness back then spans from trying to keep up with appearances. You know from childhood through to being a famous person I have kind of learnt to just smile no matter what else is going on underneath the surface whether it be domestic violence or alcoholism at home or whether it is being in the most famous period of my life when I realized I was struggling with my sexual identity and struggling with losing my crown in many ways, and leaving this really successful band as well as trying to keep up appearances. I think it all became really exhausting. I think it was such a relief this year. It is such a beautiful year for me to sort of let go of what other people think of you and I think the film kind of depicts how destructive that sort of energy is to you.

Q – So, the easy questions – you have had a series of hairstyles are there times when you look back in the footage and think WOW! What was I thinking?

D – Oh most of them of course. I think truthfully that Madonna, Kylie and I have had the most hairstyle changes. I mean how could people not think I was gay! Come on. You know I had always had a hair obsession. I think at the time that you always think the hairstyle you are wearing is the coolest one. I won’t tell you which ones I think are really bad but I will tell you which one was my favourite. I did like the Elvis look I had but I think you need to be a certain age to wear that well.

Q – Darren, you are a perplex person, but I will get … by the fashion …if I do not ask what you wear?

D – Wow um, I’m not really a label snob. What I tend to really love is tailored clothing. The one name I guess I adore is Paul Smith partly because Paul Smith is a designer from Nottingham and I love that town because that is where Richard’s family is from. He pretty much is a class fashion designer. He designs typically English pin stripped kinds of suits and crazy floral shirts the are masculine but they still have a kind of eccentricity so I like Paul Smith but I would rather wear vintage or second hand stuff.

Q – You are able to laugh at yourself and the DVD shows this, is there a “DIVA MOMENT” as you describe it that stands out that you want to share?

D – Oh god yes. I understand now that I have gotten older that a lot of tantrums are usually from stress and it is about control so for me some of the biggest tantrums I have had have been when I have been absolutely petrified like once I had this event with Pavarotti and I remember my assistant at the time who ended up becoming my manager and now is one of my best friends but she was a shocking assistant because she was always worried about how she looked. I remember we were getting outfits ready for all the events and one of them was with Pavarotti and one was this fashion event in New York and I went to John Paul Gaultier and the press department, they were dressing me at the time, and they said as a favour bring your assistant along so she came along and I picked my outfit in 5 minutes and an hour and a half later she still hadn’t picked anything. She put on this, I guess you can only describe it as a bright pink kimono and the fashion director and I looked at it and at each other and just nodded. She asked how does it look and I said she looked fabulous and anyway we had this screaming match later in New York because we were about to leave the hotel but of course my assistant saw herself in the mirror and she looked like a large pink grapefruit and she panicked and wouldn’t leave the hotel. Subsequently we were going to be late for the movie premiere of whatever it was, but I remember throwing a big tantrum then, but most of it you can look back on it and laugh and as I said in the beginning. I’m so much more chilled out these days and I think getting old has made things paler and insignificant.

Q – Your concerts are truly high energy – and you do give your all. How do you relax before and after a concert?

D – I do a lot of yoga which I really love but it’s been hard for me to do it because I’m recording and I can’t do yoga because I’m keeping such late hours. It has been driving me nuts. Yoga is something that balances me and it is something I do before a show. I workout through the day and I have things where I breathe in hot steam for my voice and then I do about half an hour of yoga and stretching and things like that.

Second page

Q – The DVD suggests that you are a pretty hard on yourself, is that self-criticism essential for success?

D – Maybe a bit of both, I think you look at people who are leaders in this industry. I think Madonna is the most obvious example. I think that most performers that continue on are still striving for something they could have, like write a better song or hit the note better, or you could have connected more or people could have clapped more. I now understand what it is that I came into this profession for. I just wanted love. I’m glad I understand that now because that’s not why I go out on stage any more but I would be lying to you if I said that it didn’t still motivate me.

Q – What is your motivation today?

D – It’s two things, one of them is expression. I feel everything deeply. The way my brain is wire up I have a lot of empathy and I feel a lot of things and for me the only way I can make sense of my world is to pour it out into some reaction that is art. Whether that is singing or whether it is writing or some kind of creative scene. The second part of it is I really feel I have been given so many opportunities but the desire to perform is a blessing and a curse but if you can look at it from a selfless point of view in its entirety it makes people smile. I have the ability to be a positive role model and I have the ability to make people forget about their day to day struggles and to motivate them, and as cheesy as that sounds you know it’s something I feel charged with and I feel like that is why I was put on this earth and I take it seriously.

Q – Coming out a few months ago and announcing your marriage is probably inspirational thing that has happened in Australia for young and older gay men. You are the only person who is a household name in Australia that almost all Australians know that is an open gay man. You are the only openly gay role model. How hard was that decision to come out?

D – You know what is funny about this is that I haven’t gone into much detail with many journalists cause I decided to tell everyone about my marriage on my website and I never lied about who I was and I never prostitute myself for the fame or the record sales or anything like that but the one thing I was proud of was that I never lied about who I was. I think the difficult thing for me was I actually started to realize my sexual identity and my sexuality at the high of my fame. It was a really difficult period and I did cop a lot of flack when I was still trying to work out who I was. A lot of people would write and talk about me as if it was common knowledge that I was gay, it was really difficult for me cause growing up in Queensland I didn’t know a single gay person. The only gay person I can remember was an evil character on Dynasty, and there are all these claims about what gay people were like, and not all gay people are like Jake from the Scissor Sisters. We are all just human beings and I think for me if I had had a role model or someone I felt was happy and living their own life, and it gave me an example of living this reality I probably would have saved myself years and years of sadness. It’s weird, I never wanted to be a role model but I have had some beautiful fan mail from so many young gay men who have been writing to me and thanked me for being so inspiring. It’s something I hadn’t really thought much about. I am definitely proud to represent that you can be happy and you can find love and you can live for life and you can find a happy ending, because I did.

Q – Tell me briefly about your man

D – Well I am looking at him and he is just a sweetheart. He is he kindest person I have ever met in my life. He has got this English sarcastic sense of humour. He is my hero.

Q – You said love is a gift, have you found that gift?

D – Of course I have. I had started to give up looking but to go back to what I said before, I think I had reached a point in my life when God took a few things away from me but he gave me so much more back. How selfish of me to think that on top of all the things I have had in my life that I should also find love. I had kind of stopped looking when Richard and I found each other. We made a pact for a while to tell all of our jaded friends not to give up and that there is someone out there for everyone. It sounds so cheeky but it’s true. I think we are meant to pair up. Just when I had given up thinking anyone could ever love me or put up with me, I met someone who was willing to do it and make me a better person.

Q – Have your groupies changed at all, are there more young gay guys in the front row and has it had an impact in any way?

D – You know it’s started to change and that’s what I love about my audiences anyway. I don’t know if it was really a big deal from the young girls who I’m sure when they were 12 or 13 dreamed about marrying me and as they grew up with me they realized that was never going to happen and I slowly started to get more of a gay crowd. I feel that gay men started to feel a kinship with me that they could have started 3 or 4 years ago but now a lot of it is a mixed crowd and I still want to do that. I’m an old fashioned guy. My sexuality is one part of me. It’s probably as important as my eye colour really. It is most important to me because it was the key to understanding why I couldn’t find love, but I think my music and my audience are a smarter bunch than that you know.

Q – Darren, for a self-confessed shy person you have achieved amazing success, congratulations on the DCD Too Close For Comfort and I believe your latest concert in Sydney in July will also be released early December called a Big Night In?

D – Yeah I did a tour in England this year and it was an amazing design by U2’s Willie Williams who is a mentor of mine. It really was a very smart show, it was almost like Broadway, it dealt with many other different genres not just music or rock music. It had comedy in it, it had a diverse point of view about fame and death, with a lot about him and me and more audience participation, and we came home to Australia for two nights only to Sydney and we filmed it. It looks great. I was so happy with the shoot and yes that comes out later this year as well.

Thanks to Sely for typing up the text to this part!

"Darren Hayes: Cover Profile

Darren Hayes was born in Brisbane in 1972 the youngest of three children. He started performing for his mother in his lounge room from a very early age. At Mabel Park High School he appeared in school plays and sang in school concerts before graduating in 1989.
Darren declined an opportunity to attend a performance academy in favor of studying at the Queensland University Of Technology. He ended up defferring a degree to pursue a musical career. He was one half of Australian supergroup Savage Garden. Since the demise of Savage Garden he has gone on to a very sucessful solo writing and recording career. Darren has been based in London for the past few years. He married his British boyfriend of two years, Richard Cullen, on 19 June 2006, in London. In keeping with his usual practice of not talking about his sexuality, he did not annouce his civil partnership until 17 July, when the information appeared on his website."

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